Taco Flavored Kisses

I seem to be on a taco kick lately.  First, hipsterified tacos part one...now, hipsterified tacos part deux.  The tacos themselves aren't terribly difficult to make...it just takes a little planning ahead to marinate the beef and throw together the slaw.

Things people says that I deem complete bull-shit:

1) Gluten free bread is so much tastier than gluten-filled bread.
2) I don't even miss the bun.
3) Non-alcoholic beer tastes just as good as the alcoholic stuff.
4) Size doesn't matter.

Why do I bring this up? One, because I'm salty I can't eat real bread or drink real beer (I don't drink non-alcoholic beer, but it just popped up in my head). Two, because I have the micro-penises of the food processor world.

 

Exhibit One: Micro-penis food processor

I've had it for so long and have gotten used to it, so it almost feels normal. That is, until I see a real food processor.

Now that's a real food processor.  I could get a new one easily, but I'm waiting for my pretend one to finally give out...it's been six years and it hasn't happened yet.  Now for the recipe.

Beef Bulgogi Tacos

Marinade Ingredients:

1 pear peeled, cored, chopped into about 1cm cubes

3 white parts of green onion chopped

1 T minced garlic

1 tsp minced ginger

3 T tamari

2 T sensei sauce (my husband got it from PCC but you could just at more tamari, ginger, garlic, honey)

1 T sesame oil

Slaw Ingredients:

2 1/2 T mayo/vegenaise

2 T lemon juice

2 T gochujang

1/4 C coconut milk/greek yogurt/N.D. yogurt/sour cream

4 C cabbage shredded

1 C carrots shredded

Method:

1. Place all marinade ingredients in a food processor, and pulse until well combined.

2. Pour marinade over meat of choice. I used a pound of thinly sliced beef (used for bulgogi) I purchased from Uwajimaya.  I am sure chicken or pork would work as well.

3. Marinade for at least 2 hours.  I marinated the beef for four hours.

4. Toward the end of margination time, mix ingredients for the slaw together.  Place in the refrigerator until it is time to serve.

5. Over medium high heat in a skillet, heat about a tablespoon of ghee.  Place meat in there and cook until it is done.

6. Serve with tortillas or butter lettuce, kimchi, slaw, hot sauce, etc. 

7. Devour.

I also made Korean pancakes and dipping sauce (pictured in the background). Separate recipe coming soon.   

Ask Kris About His Hair

Seeing as how Kris and I just reached out six year wedding anniversary on the 25^th of March, I thought it only appropriate to write a blog post about navigating our relationship as a person on the spectrum married to a neurotypical (also known as a nypical).  When people first meet us, they often comment about how we seem like we are still in the “honeymoon phase.”  I highly doubt our brains could sustain such high levels of dopamine for years.  Maybe their perception can be collected as another piece of evidence of a successful relationship. 

Moving on…

We did not always have a great relationship.  When Kris and I have discussed the rough parts of our relationship, he says the first year was the hardest.  A few years after we got married, he disclosed to me that he wasn’t sure he even wanted to get married after our first year of living together because it was so trying.  The alarming part to me about this was I had no idea.  I thought everything was fine.  In retrospect, I can see why it would have been difficult for him.  I had: quit smoking; got in a major car accident; quit school due to an inappropriate advisor; lost access to a fixation.  This resulted in lots of anxiety, tantruming, stimming, depression…and eventually it got so bad I would refuse to leave our apartment.  I also was not aware of the fact that I was/am an aspie.  Kris was just realizing that something was different.  He used to tell me I was being autistic when I would do, well, what I do.  Eventually after so many instances of autistic behavior, he realized he was in a relationship with someone on the spectrum.  It took a couple of years of strategic encouragement on his part to get me to go to a clinician to receive a formal diagnosis.  The first person he sent me to was his therapist.  He did not really send me to her; so much as we had a couples’ session when he was first transitioning.  I thought she was a complete moron and refused to go to someone else until we moved to California.  The obvious change in routine from the move caused some issues, which eventually left me desperate enough to seek out professional help. 

Getting back on track with the topic of navigating the relationship…

While writing this post, I realized one very important piece to our success…

Kris.

Kris is patient, kind, intelligent and a mental health professional.  His knowledge lends to him a certain level of understanding.  He is also very flexible and puts up with my obsessions and selfishness.  People think selfishness is awful in a relationship, but being on the spectrum comes with it.  It isn’t intentional. It just is.  Getting preoccupied to the level of intensity that it can ruin your life comes with a certain amount of self-absorption.  He has had to learn not take what I do or say personally.    

What about me?  Do I do anything to contribute or am I just sitting around sucking off the teet of whatever system we have set up?

If I can sum up what I do in two words it would be:

I try.

Yup…that’s it.  I try.  Actually, it isn’t that simple.

Trying for me means I research what neurotypicals desire in a relationship and ask Kris what is important for him.  This came in the form of asking the almighty Google many questions and spending a lot of time in bookstores reading books in the self help section to see what issues most neurotypicals struggle with in relationships and how they resolve those issues.  Here is a list of examples of things I do and tools that help:

• Remind myself to ask Kris how his day was and listen instead of only talking about what I want to talk about.
• Divide up screen time so we are not only watching what I want to.
• Remind myself to ask Kris about his appearance or complement him on it.
• Look up events for us to go to that surround his interests even though I am not interested in it.
• Give him affection.
• Lower the volume of my voice when he asks me to (I have issues not knowing how loud I am).
• Ask what I can do to help when he is sad about something (even though I may not understand).
• Instead of arguing what I deem is logical or illogical when he views my behavior as inappropriate or hurtful, apologize and ask what would be preferable behavior in future scenarios. 

 As always, use technology to your advantage when you have access to it.

Hipsterified Korean Corned Beef Tacos

I guess I didn't need to include Hipsterified in the title. "Korean Corned Beef Tacos" sound hipster enough on their own. 

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, which is basically the only day gingers are celebrated on a macro level, so naturally Kris and I celebrate in the most mainstream way...eating corned beef and cabbage.  This year was my first year making corned beef and cabbage.  Conversation three days ago about me making the dish:

Me: So I just put the meat in a crock pot with water and spices and let it cook?
Kris: Yes, it is really that simple.
Me: Seriously? What if I ruin it?
Kris: You could only ruin it if you put in some hipster crap like gochujang.

No, I did not add gochujang in the corned beef while it was initially cooking.  However, I did add it this morning to make breakfast tacos.  I used a Wagyu corned beef brisket, and yes, it was as expensive as it sounds for what is supposed to be a cheap cut...but Kris and I try to support ranchers that give their animals the best life possible prior to killing them for our consumption...and everything else was sold out.  Was it worth it? It actually was. 

Moving on...here's the recipe:

Hipsterified Korean Corned Beef Tacos

Ingredients
Left over corned beef shredded
Corn tortillas
Eggs
Gochujang
Kimchi

Directions

• Heat a non stick skillet over medium to medium low heat depending on how hot your range gets
• Place your shredded corned beef in the skillet
• Spoon some gochujang in and combine as it heats
• Fry eggs however you would like
• Assemble on corn tortillas with kimchi

I realize my directions are not the most detailed.  How much corned beef to cook and gochujang to add really depends on how much one can eat and tolerate spicy.  I used about three ounces of corned beef, two tablespoons of gochujang, two eggs, two tortillas and a boatload of kimchi.  I was extremely full after my meal.  If you have green onions and cilantro lying around you could chop some up and add that at the end as well.  I chose to add sriracha to mine.

One of these days I will start using a real camera for my food pics.

Just Another Cat in an Alley Full of Dogs

I have been hesitant in combining a food blog with a blog discussing other aspects of my life, but due to what really can only be classified as laziness they are going to mingle. 

My first two memories consist of fruit snacks and pink Nikes.  Let’s address the fruit snack memory first, since it is the more positive experience out of the two…our doorbell would ring, my mother would hoist me up and walk to answer the door.  After hearing some mumble jumble I did not understand on the other side of the door (which I now know was a heavy German accent), my mother would open the door, and I would receive unwanted hugs and kisses along with fruit snacks.  I looked forward to those fruit snacks on a daily basis, not the physical attention.

Now…onto the pink Nike memory/memories…simply traumatizing.  First of all, why do babies need shoes?  I think little shoes are adorable, and while I think they have no function, I could see the appeal in wanting to collect them...maybe put them on a Christmas tree...picturing a tree with baby shoes seems like the opening scene of a serial killer show so I will nix that idea.  Moving on...back to the baby shoe fiasco.  If a parent is genuinely concerned about the welfare of their baby’s feet, you can put some booties/socks on them.  Shoes are a way to adorn your hump trophies (I have recently heard the term “hump trophy” used in relation to children and have now decided to adopt it into my everyday vocabulary).  Baby shoes are not comfortable, let me tell you.  I was only crawling at this point in time, when my parents decided to adorn their hump trophy with a pair of scratchy pink Nike shoes.  Not only do I hate having my feet covered, those shoes hurt my heels.  Seeing as how I decided they must be annihilated immediately, I formulated a plan to dispose of them.  Hiding them around the house was not working, so one day while my mother was not watching me, I decided the only rational action to take would be to push them off the balcony of our penthouse.  Lucky for me, my mother did not lock the screen door.  I crawled with them on my hands, slowly but surely opened the screen door, nudged them closer and closer to the edge and watched in delight as they pummeled to their doom.  Sadly the security guard witnessed the shoes falling from our penthouse and returned them to my parents.  My mother and father were both a little confused as to how their one year old could have devised such a plan, but nevertheless began to not only lock the screen door but the glass door as well.  They continued to adorn their hump trophy with more uncomfortable shoes.  I hate my sharp heels.

Looking back, I can find amusement in those stories as well as many others, and until recently I thought that everybody else had extremely detailed memories from a young age.  I also thought that everyone else thought in pictures, used “data” they had accumulated in previous social experiences to determine how they ought to respond in current social interactions and I truly believed every single person watched other people and copied their socialization styles if they found them to be productive in dealing with the human population.  Why should I not believe that is what all humans do?  That is what I do, and nobody had inquired into how my mind worked until I met my husband.
I am what people call an “Aspie.”  Rudy Simone says that being female and having Asperger’s Syndrome is being part of a double minority.  While trying to research anything related to being diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome as an adult female, I have realized Aspie females are an underrepresented group.  This is why I have chosen to start this blog.  I am not a mental health professional in any way.  I cannot provide any medical advice.  I can only hope to provide some humor and maybe a sense of shared experience.

Dulce de Leche Waffles

Once upon a time on an island far far away there lived a blog...which was never cared for...and had crappy looking photos taken with an old android phone on it.  This blog despised its existence and requested more from its blogger, yet the blogger failed to listen.  Slowly the blog began to wither away until it was a distant memory...

This blogger is obviously me and the aforementioned blog was not well cared for, so I scrapped it and am starting over.

I'm terrible at starting a blog, updating a blog and writing down recipes.  So I would obviously start a food blog.  Makes total sense.

You know what else makes total sense?

Waffles...Dulce de leche waffles

Ingredients:

Dulce de Leche
*1 can coconut CREAM
3/4 C coconut sugar
A pinch of sea salt

Waffles
1/2 C coconut flour
1/2 C tapioca starch
1/4 C arrowroot starch
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 C honey
1/2 C melted coconut oil
5 eggs
1/4 C milk (I used almond milk but if you can tolerate dairy slip the real stuff in)
1 tsp apple cider vinegar

For the dulce de leche...

Combine ingredients in a heavy, light colored saucepan over medium heat.  Using a light colored saucepan helps to reduce chances of burning it.  Stir until the sugar dissolves then give it a quick stir at 20 and 40 minutes.  If it starts to boil over reduce the heat.  While this is reducing start on your waffles.  When the timer hits 40 minutes take it off the heat and pour into a bowl and beat the mixture as though it stole the last pint of Ben n Jerry's out of your freezer.  If someone stealing your Ben n Jerry's does not incite rage, then there is something wrong with you, and you should stop reading this blog immediately.  Moving on...It should thicken after a few minutes.

For the waffles...

Combine your dry ingredients in one big bowl.  Combine your wet ingredients except the milk in another bowl.  Make sure your coconut oil isn't too hot or it'll scramble your eggs, and that's just plain disgusting.  Pour your wet ingredients into your dry ingredients and mix.  Add the milk at the end until you approve of the consistency.  I used 1/4 cup.  You may want to use more or less.  Place the batter in the fridge until you are done making the dulce de leche. 

Heat up your waffle iron.  I have a non stick one so I do not have to oil it.  If you have not been afforded the same luxury, oil that sucker.  Pour batter in and cook until it is done.  Every iron is different so times will vary.  I have a light that goes off when it is done...genius.

*If you cannot find a can labeled coconut cream at the store, grab two cans of coconut milk.  Place them in the fridge overnight.  Scoop out the cream, and measure to 14 ounces.